Whenever I see one of this “I’m afraid I’m falling in love” pics something just does not feel right.
I mean, who actually “falls in love” without helping it?
One can get infatuated without any real control of it, sure. You can get aroused or excited. You can somehow rejoice in the fact that somebody notices you, or on the other hand, feel anxious about being expendable. (You know, that’s a “self-worth” thing). You may want to be the one, or feel good about being “the one” (somehow) for somebody else.
But…what does it has to do with love?
Loving someone (in the long run) is so goddamn difficult. I mean, all the confidence, the faith, the work, the blood and tears, the compromise.
Yes, one can’t help but feeling bad when someone does not like you back, for example. That’s personal issues stuff. Such things are obviously easy and come up naturally but, the way I see it, that’s just some immature, neurotic state of being.
I can’t help feeling anxious about not being good enough.
I can’t help being horny.
I can’t but like the idea of being as awesome as you describe me.
But who says:
I can’t help wanting to stay with you even in the situations when I don’t feel like staying, just because I believe in the relationship.
I want to say “no” to a lot of things I otherwise enjoy.
I want to cope with both my issues and your issues
I want a relationship! (Do you realize how serious that shit actually is?)
All I see is a bunch of way too light headed people being irresponsible and passive about their feelings. In my opinion, love is not a passive feeling. I can get driven by a desperate longing for company, for approval, for sense, self esteem or whatever. I can think I love someone because I “need” someone. Then I can wrap all this shit inside of me and throw it on the other person. “Hey, that’s your problem now.” I can go on and get into a relationship without knowing what I’m doing, not even knowing what’s up with myself. And I can call that “loving” someone.
I call it “swallowing people as they were medication”
The love I think of it’s built on hours and hours of effort. Love for me it’s something that actually drains from you. It’s not like “oh-oh I’m falling in love”. I rather feel it like a bow, a conscious compromise. A life project.
When you’ve got something to give, and you want to give it. When you got your mind on it, when you can act without being a puppet for self-esteem issues, loneliness or whatever petty reason one could hold to leech on another human being the way we usually do. That’s what I call love, and it’s not, definitely, a feeling that comes out of the blue.
All some people do is take and that makes me sick.